Escaflowne The Shining
by Lonely-Slayer
Summary: Dilandau, Van, Hitomi and the dragon slayers are locked inside the Vione, alone! Who is going to snap first I wonder? A hilarious escaflowne the shining parody! Please R&R!.


This is my first fanfic ...ever! I wrote it in my spare time and because I think crazy and crazy pyromaniac go well together! Oo  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or The Shining blah blah blah you get the point.  
  
ESCAFLOWNE THE SHINING  
  
Dilandaus plans for the morning was the usual skip breakfast, wake dragon slayers (with a slap on the face), and destroy helpless city. But today there was something different about the quiet and peaceful floating fortress, Vione. Were the heck was everyone! Dilandau ran to his Alseides...it was gone! All the alseides units were gone! There sitting on the anchorage railing was Van and that girl from the mystic moon!  
  
Dilandau: Van! I knew you were behind this! How the heck did get everyone out of here? Van: I pulled the fire alarm. Dilandau: I knew that fire alarm was a bad idea...What the devil happened to my sword and where's escaflowne!? Van: Escaflowne is on top of the floating fortress with all the weapons. Dilandau: Well what's stopping from climbing the Vione and getting them?! Van: The doors and windows are locked and I have the...searches pockets franticly I think I left the keys in escaflowne. Dilandau: Sweat drop Hitomi: Sweat drop Van: Well at least I have my sword to ...aww sh! Hitomi: Don't tell me you forgot your sword! Van nodded and put his hand over his eyes in shame. Van: I'm an idiot. Dilandau: Well I already knew that!  
  
Shesta walked into the room with the other dragon slayers still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Shesta: What's going on? Dilandau: This idiot locked us in with no possible way of getting out! Well I'm going to find a way out of here! Dilandau turned and walked away. Dragon slayers: wait for us sir! Dilandau: Okay now we split up to A) find away out of here or B) find a way to kill Van! Ether one's good. Dragon slayers: Yes sir!  
  
Shesta was walking alone in a dark hallway when he saw a childhood memory floating in front of him! Shesta: Glubglub! My pet fish that I forgot to feed and died! Glubglub: ......... Shesta: What's that you've come back from the grave to haunt me! AHHHHHHH! Shesta ran off so terrified that he wasn't looking to see what was in front of him and ran directly into Miguel. Miguel: What's the rush, Shesta? Shesta: Fish! Glubglub! Forgot to feed! Came back to haunt me! Miguel: Shesta! Snap out of it! Remember what Lord Dilandau told us! Anyone Crazier than him will be burned to death! Shesta: You're right. I gotta stop drinking root beer in the morning.  
  
Somewhere far away from everyone else Dilandau was sitting at a bar holding and empty glass. Dilandau: There's no alcohol...not even wine.Sigh Suddenly a bar tender that looked suspiciously like Folken appeared. Dilandau: Folken? What the heck are you doing here? Bar tender: I'm not Folken I'm...um...Joe! Yah that's it Joe! So what'll it be? Dilandau: What do you mean? There's no drinks... Dilandau looked up to see that the shelf was filled with bottles of alcohol. Folken took down one of the bottles and poured Dilandau a drink. Dilandau looked at the drink suspiciously then took a sip. It didn't smell, taste, or feel like anything was in the glass at all. The glass was empty! Dilandau: Hey what the... Dilandau looked up to see that both "Joe" and the alcohol were gone.  
  
A month later and our favorite pyro was starting to get restless after unsuccessfully finding a way out or killing Van. Dilandau was sitting in his room (which he had been sitting in for the past month.) pawing his cheek when Gatty walked in. Gatty: Lord Dilandau. Dilandau paid no attention to Gatty. Gatty started flipping through some papers that were on the floor. They were all filled with the same thing. "All work and no killing make Dilly a dull boy!" Gatty was shocked. This was crazy even for Lord Dilandau! Just then Shesta walked in. He had an unmistakable slap mark on his face. Gatty: Lord Dilandau. Dilandau looked up at Gatty. Gatty: Did you slap Shesta? Dilandau: No. Gatty: You did slap him! You're the only one who would! Gatty slowly backed out of the room. Later Dilandau was sitting at the bar. Dilandau: How dare he blame me! I didn't slap the poor idiot! Bar tender appears Dilandau: AHHH! Oh it's only you. How do you keep doing that? Joe: I'm a figment of your insane pyromaniac imagination. Dilandau: That would explain a lot. Just at that moment Dallet came running into the room. Dallet: Lord Dilandau, Shesta says that he was slapped by some guy in a bath tub in one of the rooms! Dilandau: What room?evil grin Dilandau entered the room. Dallet was right; there was someone in the bath tub. Dilandau pulled away the shower curtain. A maniacal smile spread across his face for there in the bath tub Allen Schezar! Tied up and covered in oil and beside him was a pack of matches! Dilandau lit Allen and watched him burn for a while. He turned to leave and noticed in the mirror that what he just set on fire wasn't Allen but his own alseides! Dilandau: Noooooooooo!  
  
Later Dilandau is sitting in his room with the dragon slayers still mourning the "death" of his alseides. Guimel: Shesta? Shesta: Redrum! Redrum! Dilandau: For the last time Shesta we don't have any rum! We don't even have wine! Wait a minuet redrum...murder!evil grin Dilandau stood up and headed for the door. Dragon slayers: Lord... Dilandau: Stay! Dragon slayers: Yes sir! Dilandau was rummaging through a secret stash and pulls out a flame thrower. Dilandau: Oh Van! Van: Hm? Dilandau: Here's Dilly! Before Hitomi could say "look out" Van was flaming! Van: AHHHHHHHH! Dilandau: Mwahahahahahaha! Hitomi tried to put the fire out but then she caught fire! (Namely because Dilandau set her on fire) Dilandau: Moreo! MOREO! Miguel: Lord Dilandau, it turns out that our alsiedes were here all along! They were just cloaked and the doors aren't really locked they were just...what was that? Miguel pointed to the two piles of smoldering ash. Dilandau: Oh, nothing important.grins evilly THE END So what do you think? It's my first fic so please PLEASE review and don't damage my tiny little ego -.o;


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